Written By: Peter Steinfeld
Transcribed By: BlackRose108
EXT. BERK - BLACKSMITH SHOP - NIGHT
Fire. Smoke. Commotion. It's the upper level of the blacksmith shop, and it's engulfed in flames.
Vikings run from house to house carry buckets of water, shouting orders at each other. HOARK, a muscular Viking, shouts to the crowd:
HOARK
Fire!
VIKINGS
Get the buckets! To the ocean! What happened?
A Monstrous Nightmare flies overhead, carrying a barrel of water and pours it over the topside of the blacksmith shop. Steam hisses.
STOICK enters in control, yelling out orders in authority.
STOICK
The wind is shifting! Fire Brigade, move in! Bring the Nadders in from the south!
ASTRID flies down on her dragon, a Deadly Nadder, who is carrying a bucket of water as well. She drops it on the flames.
ASTRID
I'm on it!
STOICK
Gronckles, aim for the roof!
FISHLEGS flies over the fire on his Gronckle, pouring water over the flames.
FISHLEGS
Yeah!
STOICK
Good work, just a few hot spots left.
HICCUP glides down from above, riding Toothless. They dump one last bucket of water on the fire before touching down.
Hiccup jumps down, runs to his father.
HICCUP
Where's Gobber? Is he still inside?
STOICK
No, we can't find him.
VOICE (O.S.)
I'm right here.
GOBBER turns dramatically. He stuffs a few hand attachments into a wheelbarrow and slowly wheels himself toward Stoick.
GOBBER
That beast will pay for this!
STOICK
Gobber, what happened?
GOBBER
What's it look like? A dragon set my home on fire!
Murmuring spreads through the gathering crowd over Gobber's accusation.
RUFFNUT
What?
GOBBER
You pushed me too far this time, you ugly bag of bones!
Stoick rolls his eyes. But Hiccup simply looks dumbfounded. He shakes his head.
HICCUP
Dad, what's he talking about? Our dragons don't do that anymore.
STOICK
He doesn't mean one of yours. Gobber, for the last time, there is no such thing as a--
GOBBER
BoneKnapper!?
Murmurs and grounds pass though the crowd again. They've heard that name too many times.
TUFFNUT
A what-knapper?
GOBBER
A disgusting, foul beast. Wearing a coat of stolen bones like a giant, flying skeleton.
Immediately interested, FISHLEGS gives us a glorious gift of exposition:
FISHLEGS
The dragon manual says that the BoneKnapper will stop at nothing to find the perfect bone to build it's coat of armor. It's awesome!
STOICK
(chuckling)
Come on, it's just a myth. It doesn't even exist.
GOBBER
I'm telling you, it's real! I've been running from him my whole life. He's the one who started this fire.
And at just this moment, a Viking walks up to Stoick, carrying fire-charred underpants on a stick.
VIKING
Stoick, we found Gobber's underpants hanging by the stove. They must've started the fire.
Everyone laughs heartily.
STOICK
Still think it's the BoneKnapper, or just your underpants?
GOBBER
I don't think! I know! Somehow he found me again. That dragon is pure evil.
STOICK
Gobber, it's late, and we're too tired for your stories. Now, get some rest.
GOBBER
You rest, I'm putting an end to this.
Gobber grabs his underpants and stuffs them in the wheelbarrow. He rolls off in a huff, leaving the village behind.
As he reaches the ramps to the docks, he beckons Phil, his sheep, to follow.
GOBBER
Come on, Phil. Let's go. We don't need their help anyways.
PHIL
Baa.
Hiccup watches Gobber leave, while Stoick and the other start walking away behind him. He sighs.
HICCUP
We can't let him go by himself. All right, Vikings, grab your shields.
TEENS
Yeah! Yes!
SNOTLOUT
There's no way I'm getting on a boat to go after a fake dragon.
He crosses his arms, determined.
MATCH CUT:
EXT. OCEAN - DAY
Snotlout, on a boat, going after a fake dragon. He and the others are rowing heavily and not having too much fun.
Gobber, on the other hand, stands at the front of the boat, barking orders and manning the rudder.
GOBBER
Come on! Put your backs into it you lazy dogs! Stroke! You're not even trying! Stroke!
Hiccup tries to lighten the mood a tad.
HICCUP
How fun is this, right? We got the team back together, another adventure. This is pretty cool, huh?
SNOTLOUT
(sarcastically)
Yeah, nothing cooler than rowing until your hands bleed.
GOBBER
I just want you kids to know that it touches my heart, you helping me slay the BoneKnapper.
(tearing up)
True Vikings, you are.
RUFFNUT
Gobber, are we there yet?
FISHLEGS
Oh you'll know we're close when your ears explode from the piercing screams. Legend says this dragon's roar is so fierce, it can melt the flesh right off your bones!
GOBBER
Not so, Fishlegs. The BoneKnapper has no roar at all. That's why he's terrifying. He's a silent killer.
RUFFNUT
Wait, so if we don't hear anything... we're dead?
The teens stop rowing, looking around nervously in an awkward wake of silence.
TUFFNUT
(whispering)
I don't hear anything.
Suddenly:
PHIL
Baa!
The teens jump, look behind them. We see Phil, Gobber's sheep, looking detached and chewing some cud.
GOBBER
(laughing)
Good one, Phil.
(to the teens)
Did I ever tell you about the first time I met the dreaded BoneKnapper?
EXT. ICY WATERS - DAY [2D ANIMATION]
TEEN GOBBER, his mother, and father are on a Viking ship, surrounded by icebergs. Gobber's father is rowing merrily while his mother uses the metal of a shield to get some sun.
GOBBER (V.O.)
I was a young lad, about your age, on summer vacation with my family, when I heard the call of nature.
Gobber is rowing the boat as well, sitting in the back. He scrunches in discomfort.
TEEN GOBBER
Dad, pull the boat over!
Gobber hops out of the boat, waddling away quickly.
GOBBER'S FATHER
Didn't I tell ya to go before we left?
Gobber still waddles out onto the ice and turns away to relieve himself. He zips up and turns around to see...
A huge iceberg with Vikings frozen inside. They're looking mean and holding weapons.
GOBBER (V.O.)
I saw an army of Vikings, frozen in battle. Clutched in the fingers of one of the Vikings was a small treasure chest...I had to have it.
Gobber lunges his axe into the ice, breaking towards the treasure chest in frozen Viking's hand.
GOBBER (V.O.)
I reached in a pulled out the chest...
He opens the chest away from us, his eyes sparkling.
GOBBER (V.O.)
It was the most beautiful thing I ever saw.
Suddenly, a hand reaches out from the ice and grabs Gobber's arm forcefully.
GOBBER (V.O.)
But the frozen Viking was still alive! He started punching me in the face!
The frozen Viking bashes Gobber in the face repeatedly. Gobber pulls his lower lip out, looking in shock to see that his tooth is missing.
TEEN GOBBER
Oh, my tooth!
The frozen Viking stops his punching and points over to something in the sky, trying to get Gobber's attention.
GOBBER (V.O.)
And there it was...I never even heard it coming...The BoneKnapper!
Gobber turns to see the BoneKnapper flying through the sky. It lowers its flight, trying to snatch at Gobber's treasure chest. The BoneKnapper flies into the ice berg of frozen Vikings, cracking it open.
GOBBER (V.O.)
It crashed into the glacier, causing an avalanche of frozen Vikings!
Gobber runs from the Vikings tumbling out of the glacier, the BoneKnapper still going after the chest. One lucky snatch of the BoneKnapper causes Gobber to trip and lose his grip on the chest. The treasure tumbles into the nearby water.
TEEN GOBBER
The treasure!
Gobber skids to the water's edge and reaches inside in search of the treasure chest.
GOBBER (V.O.)
I reached into the water...
Only to find that the same face-punching Viking. The frozen Viking resumes his face punching.
GOBBER (V.O.)
Only to find the frozen Viking punching me in the face again!
TEEN GOBBER
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
The BoneKnapper shows up once again, landing harshly down on the thin ice and causing Gobber to jet up in the air, but luckily with the treasure chest in hand.
The BoneKnapper latches onto the treasure as well and Gobber is stuck in mid-air flight with it.
GOBBER (V.O.)
The boneknapper wanted that treasure...but I wanted it more!
Gobber sees an opening in an oncoming iceberg and grabs the treasure fiercely, detaching himself from the BoneKnapper's grasp and skids through the opening in the iceberg.
He's jutted out and slid up into the sky again, only to land back in his parent's boat, right in his seat.
Gobber's father turns around, unfazed and unaware of the commotion.
GOBBER'S FATHER
What took you so long?
Gobber looks down at the chest and hides it behind his back nervously, laughing all the same.
EXT. OCEAN - DAY [CGI ANIMATION]
Gobber continues to laugh as he finishes his story. But the Viking teens don't look amused at all, in fact, they're pretty annoyed.
SNOTLOUT
You expect us to believe that a frozen Viking punched you in the face?
GOBBER
Yeah, twice.
Hiccup speaks up in an innocent defense of Gobber.
HICCUP
Hey, it could happen.
GOBBER
What do you mean "it could happen"? It did! But, I outsmarted the silent beast.
FISHLEGS
Um, Gobber, I hate to be a stickler for details, but...BoneKnappers are not silent.
GOBBER
(annoyed)
Fishlegs, I know what I didn't hear. But, I could feel it...
While Gobber continues to rant, Fishlegs looks over the side of the boat, worried for what he sees.
FISHLEGS
Uh, guys? Are there supposed to be...?
GOBBER
I had a sixth sense for danger. I can smell anything...
FISHLEGS
(panicking)
I really think we're gonna hit these...
GOBBER
...I could taste the oncoming doom!
Suddenly, the boat is lunged forward and everyone is jostled around.
Tuffnut and Phil look over the sides of the boat in a dazed amazement.
TUFFNUT
Whoa...
Astrid looks over the side with them:
ASTRID
Um, I'm tasting rocks.
GOBBER
Ah, we're here.
EXT. BONEKNAPPER ISLAND - DAY
Ruffnut looks out at the boat in the distance, it's caught on top of a huge boulder and is sinking quickly.
RUFFNUT
Ugh. Now we're stuck in the middle of no where, and no one even knows where we are.
FISHLEGS
Except the BoneKnapper. Legend says...
SNOTLOUT
(annoyed)
Hey, you know what legend also says? Stop talking!
FISHLEGS
Okay, just hold on one darn second...
GOBBER
(calmly)
No need to panic, kids. I've been shipwrecked many times!
HICCUP
Oh, well that's...comforting.
Gobber still calmly sits down, sharping his hook hand with a rock and reminiscing even in the wake of the situation.
GOBBER
You never forget your first shipwreck...
EXT. SMALL ISLAND - DAY [2D ANIMATION]
Gobber is on a tiny island -- only a single palm tree can fit on it. His hair blowing in the wind, and a broom attachment on his missing hand.
GOBBER (V.O.)
I was stranded on an island, with only my broom. It was a very small island. It's no wonder the BoneKnapper found me again. He never forgave me for taking that treasure.
The BoneKnapper swoons out of the sky, flying down to snatch at Gobber, but it takes the palm tree instead. But, as the BoneKnapper flies off Gobber realizes another island in the distance.
GOBBER (V.O.)
There was another island. My only escape. But I was surrounded by blood-thirsty hammerhead sharks!
Suddenly, many hammerhead sharks pop out from the water and surround Gobber's small island. They bare their teeth.
Gobber looks at the sharks and back at the boneknapper flying towards him.
GOBBER (V.O.)
I only had one chance. So I ran across the shark infested waters.
Gobber hops off the island and lands on one of the shark's heads. Leaping from shark head to shark head over the waters, knocking out any one of them that gets in his way with his broom-hand.
GOBBER
Take that! Watch it! Nighty night, fatty!
A shark jumps in front of the Gobber, but he dodges his bite, "brushing" his teeth with the broom before punching it in the nose.
GOBBER
Someone forgot to brush!
Gobber continues to run across shark heads, but soon the BoneKnapper closes in on Gobber, opening it's claws once more.
GOBBER (V.O.)
I didn't think I was going to make it.
Gobber continues to run, hoping upwards to the distant island as the BoneKnapper continues to get closer. But soon, something huge pops out of the water...
GOBBER (V.O.)
But then, from the depths of the ocean leapt forth...a giant hammerhead whale!
A huge, flat-headed whale leaps out of the ocean and opens its mouth to swallow the BoneKnapper...
EXT. BONEKNAPPER ISLAND - DAY [CGI ANIMATION]
Fishlegs, Hiccup, and Astrid look at Gobber in disbelief. But Fishlegs seems highly amused.
FISHLEGS
Whoa! So the hammerhead whale ate the boneknapper?
GOBBER
Almost, but he got away. Years later, the dragon hunted me down again and chased me into the jungle.
EXT. JUNGLE - DAY [2D ANIMATION]
Gobber is running frantically through a thick jungle.
GOBBER (V.O.)
All I had was my trusty egg beater.
Gobber turns his egg beater and and weeds himself through the bamboo within the jungle, but the BoneKnapper is still not too far behind him. It's chasing after him on foot.
GOBBER (V.0.)
I carved through that thick brush as fast as a jungle cat. Still, the BoneKnapper was right behind!
Gobber cuts his way through the rest of the bamboo, stoping abruptly when he sees a random bush of flowers.
He picks up a flower and sniffs it.
GOBBER
Ah, azaleas!
Gobber immediately drops the flower and keeps running as the BoneKnapper continues after him on foot. The two near the side of an active volcano, but neither of them slow down in the chase.
GOBBER (V.O.)
I ran up the side of a volcano and courageously leapt across the fiery crater.
Gobber runs up the volcano and jumps across the boiling opening, smiling wildly all the way. The BoneKnapper is still right behind him, but has now taken flight, readying his claws once again.
GOBBER (V.O.)
Then, deep within the burning volcano burst forth a giant hammerhead yak!
And suddenly, a flat-headed yak bursts out of the lava and reaches up for the BoneKnapper's tail.
TUFFNUT (PRE-LAP)
Okay, wait a minute...
EXT. BONEKNAPPER ISLAND - DAY [CGI ANIMATION]
Tuffnut, Ruffnut, and Snotlout are sitting in annoyed boredom, but Fishlegs still seems eagerly amused.
TUFFNUT
Now you're saying a giant hammerhead yak leapt out of the fiery volcano and ate the BoneKnapper?
GOBBER
You would've thought so, wouldn't you? But the dragon got away again! I knew the boney scoundrel would keep coming after me...
EXT. JUNGLE - DAY [2D ANIMATION]
He opens a trap on the lightly snow covered ground, and looks overhead to see another trap dangling from a tree branch.
GOBBER (V.O.)
So, I set up a gauntlet of traps, and waited for the beast.
Gobber sits down on a small stool and reveals his lute-hand. He strums the lute, ready for the BoneKnapper.
GOBBER (V.O.)
And when he was ready...he charged!
The boneknapper flies out the sky, swooning down in a smooth landing as it continues to run towards Gobber on foot.
GOBBER (V.O.)
And then I ran like the wind!
But Gobber is just as quick, and stands hastily to make a run for his traps, trying to get the BoneKnapper caught in one. But the dragon is smart, and evades the traps just as Gobber does.
GOBBER (V.O.)
But the traps failed!
Gobber keeps running, though this time to simply get away from the swiftly charging BoneKnapper, only to find that he he is trapped at the edge of the giant cliff, with a 50 foot fall in front of him and a charging dragon behind him.
The BoneKnapper quickly advances on him, pinning Gobber down with its hind claws.
GOBBER (V.O.)
Then, captured, I did what any brave Viking would do...
GOBBER
(yelling)
Help!
Suddenly, just like that, out of the clouds appears Thor.
GOBBER (V.O.)
The Gods must've heard my prayers. It was Thor!
Gobber stares in awe.
GOBBER (V.O.)
He tossed a mighty thunderbolt.
Thor reaches into the clouds and throws a bolt of lightning. right toward...
The ground.
GOBBER
Aw, you missed.
THOR
Wait for it...
GOBBER (V.O.)
Then, from the center of the earth blasted forth...
The hole created by Thor's thunderbolt shot into the ground begins to rumble and fiery smoke bubbles forth.
Out of the hole comes the hammerhead whale with the hammerhead yak riding on its back.
GOBBER (V.O.)
The Hammerhead Yak riding the Hammerhead Whale!
HAMERHEAD YAK
Deploy the Yak.
The whale shoots a burst of water through its blowhole, propelling the yak toward the BoneKnapper.
The yak lands on the cliff side in from of Gobber and the BoneKnapper and begins to beat up the dragon with a series of merciless kicks and punches.
The whale dives and swallows the BoneKnapper -- and half the cliff side -- before diving back into the hole with the yak.
On the way down, the hammerhead animals give Gobber a friendly salute. He salutes back.
GOBBER
Yes!
He punches the air, cracking his back.
GOBBER
Oh, my back!
EXT. BONEKNAPPER ISLAND - DAY [CGI ANIMATION]
The Viking teens are still standing in amazed disbelief peppered over with annoyance.
FISLEGS
Whoa...the whale saluted you?
GOBBER
Can you believe it? But the BoneKnapper got away again! He found me on Berk...
Gobber continues to rant but Snotlout, Ruffnut, and Tuffnut have had enough. They all begin to speak in a muddle of complaints.
SNOTLOUT
Are you kidding? I don't believe any of this.
TUFFNUT
Yeah, you totally made everything up!
RUFFNUT
Come on, Gobber, it time to get out of here!
SNOTLOUT
We need to get home!
Tuffnut then breaks the muddle of complaints, letting out one firm statement.
TUFFNUT
You don't even have any proof that that thing exists!
GOBBER
Of course I have proof. I still have the treasure. This stunning belt buckle.
Gobber stands and pull up the end flap of his shirt, revealing a small bone tied to the ends of two strings.
GOBBERR
It was in the Viking's treasure chest. It's kept my pants up for years.
FISHLEGS
It is stunning...
Astrid looks over at Hiccup and pushes him forward lightly, crossing her arms in a silent command to do something.
Hiccup gulps. He walks up to Gobber.
HICCUP
Um...listen, Gobber. Instead of chasing down an imaginary dragon, maybe we should figure out how to get home?
GOBBER
Say no more, I hear ya loud and clear. I've got a plan. All right, who'd like to be dragon bait?
Everyone gasps, as Gobber points to Fishlegs, who, of course, is frightened. Phil waddles away from him.
CUT TO:
Fishlegs dressed in a quickly put together rendition of Gobber, with a rope beard hanging from his chin. He looks up at the hoisted dragon rib cage dangling above him.
FISHLEGS
Um, Gobber. Are you sure this is safe?
GOBBER
Safety's overrated.
(to the other teens:)
Okay, here's the plan. The BoneKnapper wants me, right? He comes down that trail, sees Fishlegs, thinks it's me, rushes Fishlegs, causing Phil to trip that rope, dropping that rib cage and then we rush in a finish him off once and for all!
Snotlout, Ruffnut, and Tuffnut stare at him blankly.
SNOTLOUT
(whispering to Ruffnut:)
It's sad when they get old.
Turn to Hiccup and Astrid, who are also just as annoyed.
HICCUP
Gobber, you're taking this way too far, okay? You need to face it. There is no such thing as the BoneKnapper!
GOBBER
Wormsquat! Now, get into position. Way to go Fishlegs, you're doing fine!
In the distance, Gobber and the other Viking teens hide behind a expanse of rocks, all muttering to themselves.
HICCUP
No wonder they entire village think you're crazy.
SNOTLOUT
Hello? He sees dead Vikings!
TUFFNUT
Yeah, especially that thing about the hammerhead yak...
As they mutter the BoneKnapper flies up and lands quietly behind them, but no one notices except for...
FISHLEGS
Um, guys...?
No one hears his warning.
ASTRID
This is a complete waste of time..
FISHLEGS
Guys, hello!? Turn around! Guys, Guys!
EVERYONE
What!?
The BoneKnapper straightens up, and the sound of his bones moving instantly gets everyone's attention. They all freeze.
HICCUP
It's right behind us isn't it?
They all turn around, looking up in a terrified shock to find the BoneKnapper right behind them. The dragon flexes its wings, and opens its jaw to let out what they think will be a mighty roar, but instead it's just a small squeak.
FISHLEGS
Well, what do you know? No roar.
GOBBER
Run!
The BoneKnapper shots fire at them and, as Gobber instructed, they all run towards Fishlegs.
ASTRID
Okay, Gobber, we believe you!
The BoneKnapper whips it tail, throwing a pile of bones a the Vikings, forcing them to fall where Fishlegs was standing in a jumbled pile.
Phil, still chewing his cud, trips the bone trap and send the rib cage over the Vikings.
GOBBER
Phil!
The BoneKnapper charges towards them, and the Vikings get up and run to stand against the ribs of the rib cage, narrowly missing the fire BoneKnapper's next blast.
SNOTLOUT
Find a happy place, find a happy place...
The BoneKnapper continues to kick and bite at the rib cage, trying to find a way in.
FISHLEGS
No, no, no, please...please. He wants my head. I swear he wants my head!
GOBBER
Bring it on! You wait till I get out there and I'll show you!
As everyone cowers, Hiccup looks around at the BoneKnapper and then back at Gobber.
There's a small hole in the BoneKnapper's bone armor, which is exactly the same shape and size as Gobber's belt buckle.
HICCUP
Wait? It searches for the perfect bone to build it's coat of armor. The treasure! Gobber, take off your pants!
GOBBER
Huh?
OTHERS
No!
HICCUP
Wait, listen to me. I think Fishlegs was right. The BoneKnapper is supposed to have a roar. But maybe he can't because the bone he needs is your belt buckle.
ASTRID
Gobber, please, you have to give it back.
GOBBER
No way, it's mine.
The BoneKnapper finally makes its way into the rib cage, and swiftly grabs Gobber by his peg leg, dragging up him and whipping him all around.
HICCUP
Give him back his bone!
GOBBER
No!
HICCUP
GIVE HIM BACK HIS BONE!
GOBBER
No!
The BoneKnapper tosses him into the air. Gobber decides to reconsider on the way down:
GOBBER
Noooo... oh, all right.
Gobber pulls the belt buckle off his pants and throws it. The bone lands perfectly in the hole of the BoneKnapper's armor.
Gobber lands roughly in a pile of bones. The Vikings hold their breathes. The BoneKnapper, though, finally lets out a prideful roar.
Now the BoneKnapper turns to Gobber. It leans down looking as if it's going to finally settle the score with him.
HICCUP
Gobber!
Gobber looks up in worry, but quickly lets out a sigh, and stands bravely.
GOBBER
All right, you've got me. Make it fast.
But instead of eating him, the Boneknapper leans down and nudges Gobber affectionately, purring like the giant skeleton of a cat.
And Gobber's pants -- now unbuckled -- fall down. Embarrassed, Gobber chuckles and pulls them up.
All the other Viking teens groan in disgust, covering their eyes as the initial worry and panic fades.
HICCUP
That's gonna give me nightmares.
ASTRID
Well, at least we have a ride home.
Gobber continues to scratch the BoneKnapper's jaw and dragon enjoys it, wagging it's tail happily.
GOBBER
Aren't you cute? Yes you are, yes you are!
EXT. SKY - DAY
CLOSE ON Phil. He's riding the BoneKnapper. Behind him, the Viking teens and Gobber.
They're finally going home.
SNOTLOUT
You know, I never doubted him. I was always like: "He's right."
TUFFNUT
This tailbone is hurting my tailbone!
The BoneKnapper roars happily.
HICCUP
He sure seems happy to have that bone back.
FISHLEGS
Well, legend says that BoneKnapper's roar is its mating call.
GOBBER
Oh, that's just a myth.
More roars sound in the background.
GOBBER
Uh oh.
Four female BoneKnappers are tailing them.
PHIL
(astonished)
Ba.
GOBBER
(chuckles)
I think Stoick will believe me now, eh?
IRIS OUT:
The hammerhead yak sails past us, riding on the back of the hammerhead whale. The yak gives us a final salute before diving out of view.
No comments:
Post a Comment